I’m leaving Singapore tomorrow (Tomorrow = next week in INSEAD time. To be more accurate it’s later, since it’s past midnight) and I couldn’t ever DREAM of boiling down my adventures since my first weekend into a half dozen highlights. So. These are a half dozen things that I learned (for and about myself) in the last four months (4 INSEAD months = [7 INSEAD days/Real Life days x 30 Real Life days avg/Real Life month x 4 Real Life months] x [1 Real Life month/30 Real Life days x 12 Real Life months/1 Real Life year] = 2.33 Real Life years). Yeah, I know you checked that calculation. I’m right.
- Prioritize. Figure out what you want – find out what sets you on fire – and make It happen. Life is too short to over-focus on things that are not important to us. Dig deep, separate the noise from the signal, do the analysis and find your own personal Goal. As soon as you figure that out, put your heart and soul into turning the Dream into Reality. That means (1) you also have to learn to let go, because there are tradeoffs, and (2) you have to treat the things of which you’ve had to let go with respect, because respect is non-negotiable. Alternative stock tip of the day: people. They are what matter, so to the extent possible, invest in them. Prioritize them over letters and numbers. Bugger off to the Raffles Hotel before FMV to spend some quality time with Mr. Messy. Stay up until 8am organizing that fundraiser and reschedule your class to the afternoon section’s. Recycle your course packs (scan them if you have WOWs you want to enshrine), spend the night before FOM sharing Brazilian food and beverages poolside. One way to prioritize people that requires no trade-off but time – my favorite one of them all, needed in large quantities on a daily basis -CHINA!!!
- Be brave, be sure of yourself. You may not think it, but it is, after all, possible in 99 out of 100 cases. The only time it’s impossible is if you don’t try in the first place. You’re more of da bomb than you think. You have the power. From UDJ to LPG to Monsoon Ball with the Bottlenecks to The Calendar to INDEVOR to FOM to Africa Week to cutting it close with the Schengen visa – always and everywhere there are times when you have to step – or leap – out of your comfort zone (after thinking first, of course). But there’s psychological safety in the world. So if it all goes pear-shaped, the world will not, in fact, crumble around your ears. The two things that are REALLY sure in life aren’t death and taxis – they’re change (interpret that any way you like) and being okay. Losing cash, losing the room you had in your hand – from these regrettable events you can recover, and you should. Losing One Last Moment to cowardice is unacceptable. But even if you do, life goes on anyway.
- Be able to make good decisions, even when you’re uncertain. You will NEVER have full information. No one will. There will come a time when there’s two minutes left to deadline, you’re getting yelled at, and you have to say to each other “No more. We send NOW.” There will come a time when you have to send that email to that MP, even as a holding email – or the opportunity passes you by. There will come a time when you have to make a crazy last-minute decision, even though you don’t know if you can get a visa in time, where you’re going to live, what classes you’re going to take, what life will be like or whether that last-minute ticket is going to cost you your soul. And what you know for sure is that you’ll be penalized for it – be it bid points, shipping costs or emotions. Comfort has a cushy couch in the world of uncertainty. Find it and chillax.
- Know yourself. And make no pretenses about anything – denial about who you are is one of the quickest ways to making bad decisions. Know what you hate, know what pisses you off and either try to avoid these things or crank patience up to full blast when faced with them. Know how you react to extreme turbulence on a plane (e.g. do I bite my seatmates?). Know that you’re not perfect, and know that it’s easy to say something today, but that you don’t know how you’ll actually act tomorrow (e.g. Milgram, anyone?). Know that if you’re a P, a J is likely to complement you. Know yourself so that you can take the piss out of yourself, so that you can sit well in your skin and so that you can resist crumbling in the face of adversity. Know yourself so that you can contribute to diversity, and therefore innovation and rich growth experiences.
- Serendipity (call it what you will, depending on who you are) DOES make the world go ‘round. Don’t turn her away when she knocks at your door. B-side Honda case in point. Coming here, to INSEAD, and wanting to become a bond trader, and potentially coming out trying to save the world. And wither the bond trader aspiration? Its role was to teach me how to let go (i.e. accept getting stopped out and exit the position tout de suite.) Got stopped out of the long SGP position, going long FBL. Natural disasters can also lead to a chain of events for this natural disaster that may or may not end in disaster, but by God I’ll go for it. It feels right, even though it’s brought a bit of pain. The seemingly eclectic progression of interest, action and emotion IS heading somewhere that makes sense. The universe is unfolding as it should, albeit with a good dose of volatility.
- Every moment is an opportunity. “Each one of us at each moment of our lives has the ability to change the world. For the better. To use everything we’ve been given up to that moment to make every moment after better, for as many people as we choose. I love life, …, I love people. There has to be a better way for all of us to make choices to get there!!!!” (A Text, 18 December 2009). Clearly, we won’t make these choices a hundred percent of the time. But it helps to make these choices once in a while, and to act, to make them count. Pull the right levers when the spirit moves you, and just do it.
Pulling all of the above together, my Goal is to be successful a la Emerson: “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success!”
I’m now getting over my immense sadness (read: recovering from a hangover after 4 months of living at the limits of my physical, mental and emotional boundaries, or trying – in vain perhaps – to loosen the grip of impossible attachments, or getting over nostalgia from packing my beachwear – with Phi Phi sand still! – to send home for the year), and enjoying these last few moments of Me Time and peace and quiet now that the madness has subsided. And boy oh boy, has there been madness beyond imagining in(dee/sea)d sin Gapour. INSANE.
And that was just the first half of the Big Adventure…
